im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize