I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
