matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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