And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
