Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize