You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
