So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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