This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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