Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
