We're facebook friends in real life
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
