god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
