I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
