but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
