Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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