I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
