Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize