apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
