I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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