i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
