Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Walk of Shame today included voting.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize