You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think my vagina is haunted
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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