areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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