I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
