Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I am naked and annoyed.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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