I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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