Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
