This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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