I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize