Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
