i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
3pm strippers are depressing
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
