he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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