Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
