Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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