your parents love me but you hate me
Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize