I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize