In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
