Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
