im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
