i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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