so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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