OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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