you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
