he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
