My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i drank out of a bidet.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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