Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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