Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
