I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
