He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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