I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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