i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
