think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
