My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
