I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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