My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
