Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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