Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
