she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
