Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
