He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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