I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
