Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
