question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
