Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
bring money and cleavage
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
