how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
