just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
