Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
