you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
