i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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