I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
