im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
