barbara walters just said penis...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
