R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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