Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Randomize
