Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize